What is the loss?

Loss, the experience of separation from someone, some-thing, or some place, that you have identified as important; important meaning you experience love in relationship with it.

Loss of a significant other: A person(family member, partner,or person who inspires you), a pet, passes away or leaves you.  

Loss of a sense of self-(respect, trust, courage, honesty, humor, confidence), a part of you seems to pass away or leave.

Loss of a place of beauty and power: A place in nature where you have experienced serenity, beauty, acceptance, is destroyed by natural or human action.

Loss of a material symbol: traditional item(picture, painting, cup, clothing etc) that is lost, broken, destroyed, that connects you with family, origin, or spiritual ground.

Loss results in experiencing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain. Pain creates a response of denial, we react in a way that allows us to survive the loss, it is a subtle protection. We say, "That did not hurt!" but that is not the truth. Immediately a complex defense response system begins to develop, I am in pain but I cannot show that I am in pain. Unraveling that complex defense system is part of psychological methodology.

In the method I use in personal and private practice the first step is to admit, "That really hurt when I experienced the loss of __________!" This ends the cycle of denial; and that is the beginning of the unraveling.